Thursday, December 01, 2005

A Heavenly Home

December 1,
Daniel & I were talking today and I was reminded how often we look at things all backwards and upside down and we try ever so desperately to work things out but we start at the wrong end! I think that is why my “organization” journal has turned into a “heart of homemaking” journal, because my real problem has never been a lack of knowing the “how to-s” of organization, my real problem is that I don’t believe that God or anyone cares at all about my homemaking, that it doesn’t really make a difference at all.
I have been reading John’s gospel and the Holy Spirit kept a few verses in my heart for me today: In my Father's house are many rooms…I will come again and will take you to myself, that where I am you may be also… Jesus answered him, "If anyone loves me, he will keep my word, and my Father will love him, and we will come to him and make our home with him. John 14:2-3, 23
I have a longing, deep inside of me, for this place, for the home that is already in me and I in it and yet not fully. I live in the tension of “the already and the not yet” but I think that right now an honest assessment is that I feel the “not yet” and so I just forget about it!
I have a longing, oh such a longing for this place! What a precious thought that my Heavenly Father is preparing a home for me! So often I get so bogged down in my earthly home – it’s not pretty, it’s hard to keep neat yada yada yada… but what a thought: I have a heavenly home! All of these longings, this discontentment and dissatisfaction is because I am ultimately fitted for my heavenly home!
I don’t feel super-spiritual, I only have such a welling sense of discomfort and such a longing for more. I want a home. But I am selling myself short if I think that a cute little split-level in some quaint suburban subdivision is it. It is a hard truth, but I am so glad for it!

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