Wednesday, December 28, 2005

I am loved

I have debated writing about this all week, if not all month but I have decided that this is an important part of my journey and I need to share it. Some of my dearest friends won't understand or agree with what follows - I understand...
About three weeks ago we were at a non-denominational church and they had guests there who were "deliverance ministers" they and the pastor of the church spoke prophetically over me. Their words brought so much healing and have helped me to "change the tape" in my mind. The two things that they said that have been most meaningful to me are as follows: God wants you to know that you haven't ruined your life - you are right where he wants you and right on time, you're not lagging behind... and God says, you are not underfoot or in my way. I love you. You are my child and I love to hear your voice. I can tell you what - those words brought tears to my eyes and so much unseen healing to my spirit. (You can argue about if that is the "right" way to prophesy over someone another day on someone else's blog!!)
It has been so easy for me to fall into the rut of thinking "I'm no good at homemaking" and "I royally messed up my life when I choose to become a wife & mother, maybe I would be better at something else, maybe we should have used birth control between children..." There have been countless times when I have wondered if I made the right choice, I have wondered if my temperament handicaps and personality flaws, not to mention selfishness and sin(!) keep me from flourishing as a mother. Those words from my dear brothers and sister bring me comfort - I did make the right choice! I am right where God wants me to be!
I share this to encourage you to "change the tape", the whirr of the gears of your mind as you sweep and dust and wash dishes should be "I am loved by God and I am fulfilling His calling on my life" Don't allow thoughts like "I'm no good at this" or "I hate this" rob you from worshiping God in your homemaking!


a suburban housewife said...

Good post, Faith!! I appreciate your sharing what God- through the Spirit- has done in your heart. You are an encouragement to me!


Mindy said...

Hi Faith,
Thanks for being brave and sharing your experience. This has happened to me also in the past...I can still hear those words and they wash over me fresh and anew. What a blessing you blog is.
Enjoy your day,

Amy Donell said...

"Satisfy us in the morning with your steadfast love, that we may rejoice and be glad all our days (even the grungy clean the house, do laundry, wash dishes, change diaper after diaper days). Make us glad for as many days as you have afflicted us, and for as many years as we have seen evil. Let your work be shown to your servants (the awesome and powerful work of motherhood and advancement of your kingdom) and your glorious power to their children (Beth, Emily, Katie-Abigail, and Caleb). Let the favor of the Lord our God be upon us( Faith and Amy),and establish the work of our hands upon us (and our homes, and our husband's and boyfriend's work, and our whole lives!) ; Yes, establish the work of your hands!"
Psalm 90:14-17
Faith these have been powerful words in my life... even the "crappy no good... what in the heck am I doing with my life" days!
-amy d.